the the words of karl
Have a read through some of karl's famed thoughts & musings and see if you don't laugh out loud.
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"I could eat a knob at night"
- Karl talking about the UK reality tv show 'I'm a celebraty - get me out of here'
"If you don't have eyes you shouldn't have wings"
- Karl on moths
"By 78 you've done everything you're going to do. If you haven't bungee-jumped by the time you're 78 you're not going to do it."
"Stop looking at the walls, look out the window."
"Like I said he didn't do us a favour, he saved too much. You cant move out there for stuff"
- Talking about Noah and his ark
"You know how they say people have six senses? There's loads more than that. The ability to feel someone looking at you, that's been around since man and dinosaur were knockin' about."
"We came from the sea originally, now we're going back in it. Don't go in it, unless you're in a boat."
"You always get a little snidey one."
- on identical twins
"If you can't treat a cheerful tramp, what kind of tramp can you treat?"
"Were those presents the three kings brought Jesus for Christmas or his birthday?"
"Where you are is what you eat. When I'm in London I'll have beans on toast for lunch. On holiday, what? Tapas? Go on then, I'll have a bit. You eat whatevers in that area."
"They just age over night like a pear"
- Karl talking about chinese people
"Don't be chucking that out you might need it later."
- karls variation of the famous proverb 'waste not, want not'
"What were the things in 'Gremlins' called?"
"They say they've got a new pope, he's hardly new is he?"
"Knowledge is hassle"
"They go from building to building, just building."
- on builders
"It wouldn't happen... there hasn't been one publication by a monkey"
- Karl talking about the infinate monkeys/infinate typewriter theory
"Even caveman had little pants on when you see footage of them."
"They are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful."
- Karl on Jellyfish
"Could she talk with her mouth full?"
- Karl on girl with 2 mouths
"He crossed the road and got run over... I just kind of thought: Why didn't he look both ways?"
-Karl on Siamese twins
"So this doctor was rumminging around in 'is 'ead"
- Karl learns the word rummaging while talking about brain surgery. (sent in by Alistair Black)